Jon and I dated long distance for the first year we were together. I lived in Lake Wylie, South Carolina and he lived in Charlottesville, Virginia. My job was much more flexible so I drove to Virginia often. One night, driving back from Charlottesville, it started snowing. Hard.
My plan was to just drive slowly and get home safely until I saw a yellow flashing construction sign that read “Interstate closed ahead overnight.” Cue mini panic attack. I can’t tell you my exact location because I don’t know it. Where was The Blair Witch Project filmed? Because that’s where I was. Someplace remote and sketchy with only a single truck stop. The stop was actually quite busy with travelers looking at maps and trying to book hotel rooms. The truckers were very kind. They called hotel after hotel for me. No luck. All were booked. Side note: I had a cell phone, but I had no service. The makings of a perfect murder mystery.
A very kind trucker-man told me of a little Inn down the road. He suggested I try it since no one probably knew about it. He told me to follow him, so I did. I know! But I was desperate. I had mace. I got in my car and followed his truck to “The Fox Hole Inn.” I actually don’t remember what it was called, but it was something terribly close to that.
There was an elderly man working behind the counter.
-Can I help you?
-Yes. I’m looking for a room.
(This is the part where I start crying like a baby. Reminder: I was 24.)
-Waaaaa. The interstate is closed and I’m not from here and I’m by myself and I don’t know where to go. Do you have a blanket? I’ll sleep in my car. Or can I just sleep here in this lobby? (Picture auto body shop waiting area. That’s the lobby.)
He paused for a long while.
-My wife is in the hospital. You can sleep in our guest room and I’ll stay at the hospital with her.
Now, this just got weird. Are you the nicest person in the world or are you going to kill me? I agreed and we walked over to his house which was attached to the back of the Inn.
The house was more of a cabin. A cabin in the woods. A cabin in the woods decorated with an eerie number of crucifixes and busts of The Virgin Mary. He took me to my room where he gave me a clean towel and left. I immediately locked the door and wedged a chair under the door knob. It made me feel like I would have a few extra seconds to escape whenever he tried to attack. I went to the bathroom and opened the shower curtain. Always look behind the shower curtain. There were dead flies in the bathtub. I turned back to the room and realized there were dead flies everywhere. You know what attracts flies? Corpses. I was convinced he was going to kill me.
I looked through the closet for dead bodies. I found hangers full of brand new women’s clothing. Tags on all of them. Obviously, he baited his victims with new clothes and then murdered them. I didn’t sleep at all. I sat on the edge of the bed until the sun came up. I moved the chair and ran out of the house, but on my way out something on the table caught my eye.
It was a note.
“Please help yourself to anything you may need. Get some rest and drive safely. God bless.” Next to it was a can of soda and a few chocolate chip cookies.
I am a jerk.
My suspected mass murdered left me chocolate chip cookies. He was really the kindest man I could have come across and for some reason I didn’t believe it until he left me cookies. Why is that?
There’s just something about chocolate chip cookies. They bring warmth. They bring comfort. They’re familiar. They’re nostalgic. And it’s been two years since I’ve had one. I’ve been gluten free for almost two years and sadly, I haven’t enjoyed the happiness of a chocolate chip cookie in just as long. I really needed a warm, gooey, soft, chewy chocolate chip cookie this week. So I made one.
These cookies are perfect. They’re chewy and they melt in your mouth. They’re reminiscent of the big chocolate chip cookies you used to get with your school lunch in the crinkly plastic bag. You know those, don’t you?
You might notice there’s no butter in this recipe. The coconut oil replaces the butter here. I’ve been obsessed with coconut oil lately. If you follow me on twitter, you know this. I use it for everything. Shaving, lotion, conditioner, chap stick…and chocolate chip cookies. Trust me. Even if you’re not a coconut fan, you’ll enjoy these cookies. There is no coconut flavor present at all. Just perfectly sweet, chocolatey goodness.
These cookies are flat. Which is great because it takes away the stress of ending up with a flat cookie. There’s no way around it, your cookies will be flat. They will be flat and delicious. And best of all, gluten free. Gluten free without being hard as a rock, without being gritty. They aren’t “good for being gluten free.” They’re just plain good.
Don’t even tell people they’re gluten free. You don’t have to. Let’s keep that right here. Things aren’t always what they seem, you know. Not all good cookies have gluten. Not all secluded cabins house mass murderers.
There are kind people in this world. Be one. Share some cookies.
Gluten Free Chocolate Chip Cookies (adapted from Averie Cooks) Makes about 30
1/3 cup coconut oil, room temperature (soft but not liquid)
1 cup brown sugar
2 tablespoons vanilla extract (for real)
1 (hefty) teaspoon of full molasses (any would work as long at it’s not blackstrap)
1 cup (4 ounces) gluten free oat flour
3/4 cup (3 ounces) almond meal
2 teaspoons corn starch
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1 cup chocolate chips
Posted on February 24, 2013